More importantly ; with such a big day coming up, we all need some inspiration on the best ways to celebrate. After all, international relations and security network ’ triiodothyronine it the day we all stop to pay court to our brave and audacious australian leaders : Hugh Jackman, Stefan and Alf from Home and Away ? ! man, I truly love Stefan and his delectable, bouffant hair-do .
If you aren ’ triiodothyronine from Australia but want to impress your Aussie mates, or merely feel closer to us as a nation, you ’ re besides welcome to enjoy any of these suggestions. Of naturally, if you ’ re a bonafide Australian-o you ’ ll most probable already be planning on doing all of these, I ’ thousand surely. A fortune of these are mandated by law, so, they ’ re super dangerous, you guys .
1. BBQ like a mother-flipper
If you don ’ triiodothyronine master of ceremonies or serve at least one BBQ on Australia Day, you are rounded up by the Government and sent to ‘ Australia Exile Island ’ a.k.a Tasmania. There you must spend the pillow of your days thinking about what you have done and never, always celebrate Australia Day again. There are no snags, steaks or beers in Tasmania. You ’ rhenium forced to be a naked paleo vegan. We take it identical seriously.
2. Get drunk way too early in the day
Ahhhh yes, the most humble of Aussie Day traditions. You wake up at 8am, realising your party doesn ’ t properly start until 1pm. But, you ’ ve sort of got everything organised already and nothing to do. But, wait, you ’ ve besides got an entire electric refrigerator wax of beers and jelly shots. What to do ? What to do ? Ah, yes, drink it all and pass out by 5pm after embarrassing yourself dreadfully in front of your friends and family. Perfect .
3. Watch pests race
now, THIS is a real thing. We actually do this. Let me tell you something, world… Europe… any, if you walk into a public house on Australia Day and they aren ’ thymine racing cockroaches, it ’ s a massive lease down. There ’ randomness nothing quite like watching an intrusion of cockroaches racing in the shadows of a thousand raucous, screaming Australians, wagering on their leg movements and will to win. It ’ randomness wyrd but amazing .
It’s illegal not to go to the beach on Australia Day
4. Use words you never usually use
STREUTH ! Australia Day is the ridgy-didge, true-blue time to rip out all ya best slang-a-rang-a-dang-a-dingo, if it doesn ’ t make sense… especially if it doesn ’ t make sense .
5. Cover yourself with temporary tattoos
It isn ’ t Australia Day unless you have 20 Australian-themed impermanent tattoos stuck to your body and/or face. We ’ re talking southerly Cross, Boxing Kangaroo, Aussie Flags galore and, of run, a map or two of our queerly shaped mother-land. The more tattoos, the more patriotic you are and the more probably it is Hugh Jackman will notice you and bless you .
6. Play a spirited game of cricket, footy or frisbee
You haven ’ metric ton very celebrated Australia Day properly unless you ’ ve undertaken a friendly, sociable sporting consequence of some kind. We ’ ra talking backyard cricket, throwing the footy around or whipping frisbees at one another. I don ’ thyroxine think the cricket match counts unless you use your esky or wheelie bank identification number as the stumps. obviously, if you use actual stumps the Prime Minister ( whoever it is at the time ) comes over to your house and gets to kick you in the shins. Sledging at both events is powerfully encouraged .
7. Throw no shrimps on the bar-bee
That ’ s not a substantial thing, America. We don ’ triiodothyronine do that. We buy prawn pre-cooked, en-mass from Woolies then spend 7,000 hours peeling the bastards .
8. Eat an entire jar of Vegemite with a spoon
While we don ’ deoxythymidine monophosphate consume shrimps on bar-bees, it is a well-known and long-respected Australia Day custom that you start your sidereal day by eating an entire jolt of Vegemite with a spoon. If you don ’ metric ton do it, your friends get to take turns slapping you in the face with a g-string. # Truth .
It’s illegal not to see ya mates, Macca and Nugget, on Australia Day.
9. Watch Muriel’s Wedding and The Castle
At precisely 7pm every person in Australia sits down to a mandatary shield of Muriel ’ sulfur Wedding, followed immediately by that most beloved of Aussie comedies, The Castle .
10. Steal New Zealand’s stuff and claim it as our own
One of our front-runner things to do on Australia Day, and something we take big pride in, is stealing New Zealand ’ mho jack and passing it off as our own. We know no shame ; Lamingtons ? Straya ! Pavlova ? Straya ! Russell Crowe ? STRAYA ! Crowded House ? decidedly Straya. Phar Lap ? Greatest Strayan horse to be bred on our fine shores.
11. Run around in the sprinkler
Everyone knows Australia Day is the hottest day of the class, by nonpayment. Australia senses our great Aussie pride and decides to test us all by setting its ambient temperature to : sudden DEATH. Mmmm toasty. The best way to cool down international relations and security network ’ t the pool because that isolates you from your patriotic mates. The best means, of run, is to drag out the sprinkler and turn it on depleted so you can all stand in it, simultaneously chatting, drink and being actually australian .
It’s illegal not to drink beers with ya mates on Australia Day.
12. Host a sick burnout comp
If you find yourself renting your residence, it ’ sulfur mandate you host an amateur burnout comprehensive examination in your street at dusk. Everyone does it. It ’ s all necessity you attach australian Flags to your car windows, so you look like a super-patriotic Aussie gangsta as you roll by in your commodore or Falcon .
13. Wear stuff you’d never, ever normally wear
Australia Day is formally the alone day it ’ s acceptable to buy your entire equip from Crazy Clark ’ sulfur. Those mofo ’ mho will sell out promptly, excessively, you got tantalum get down there and buy your Aussie sag singlet, blue shorts, Southern Cross bucket hat, sunnies and eldritch necklaces with blast glasses attached to them for no rationality. obviously, you ’ ll throw it all out the following day because it ’ ll be : a ) Filthy and bel ) reek of alcohol and all the consume fumes from ya burnout comprehensive examination, MACCA ! !
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